Birthdays tend to make people reflect. Reflect on the year gone by, achievements, disappointments and life generally. Having recently celebrated my 37th birthday, I went through this. The one thing I seemed to reflect on the most were my friends.
Look around you………………….. Who are your friends? Now I’m talking about your friends, your real friends. The people that will answer your call at 2am because you’re drunk and don’t want to drunk dial your ex, or just because your car broke down and you need a lift, the people whose shoulders you’ve cried on. The people who’ve loaned you money, with no questions asked because they know you’ve needed it. The people who’ve fed you when you couldn’t feed yourself, literally. If what I’ve described above is not something you have with anyone in your life, then you’re truly missing out.
I have some amazing friends in my life. True friends who I’d do anything for. If one of them called me at 2am and said I need to bury a body, all I’d ask is where and how deep do we have to dig. That’s because these people have truly been there for me, in every sense of the word.
I have two male friends I absolutely adore. These two guys are the guys I talk to about my life and all its aspects. Tebello Motsoane, more commonly known as Tibz. He’s one of these special beings. I’ve cried snot and tears on Tibz’ shoulder. I’ve bitched to him; I’ve made money with him. He goes out of his way to always make sure I’m ok. No matter what woman he’s dated, I’ve never been excluded from his life.
The other special gentleman in my life is TT Mbha. This man has been to hell and back for me. He treats me like a princess and I’m not even his wife. So I can only imagine how happy she is! He has loaned me money, in my most broke of broke days. He’s seen the most, bare parts of my soul, my most vulnerable states are not new to him. I’ll forever admire these two men for the strength they have shown towards me.
I have two women I deem as ‘best friends’. Former Miss SA, Tansey Coetzee and DJ, Vinyl Angel, AKA Jo Bodiba.
When I started my business Jo would bring my daughter and I groceries. She’d help me with petrol, clothes, shoes and not forgetting the countless times to this day she has looked after my child when I’ve worked. Jo helped me move out of my home when I got divorced. She helped me find a new place and stayed with me for a few days so my daughter and I weren’t alone. A few years ago I had pneumonia, she came to my house and looked after me every step of the way. Jo is currently starting up her own enterprise and no matter what she needs from me at this stage, I’d help her over and over again. No questions asked.
Tansey has been everything to me, a mother a friend, a therapist and a cook. She’s also helped me look after my daughter and guide me through relationship failures too!
My group of girlfriends include string phenomenal women, that inspire me to never give up, Owner of Punk and Ivy, Bianca Sibiya, ‘The Fixer of Restaurants World Wide’, Nadien Zuri Bha-Bha, Social media specialist, Morna Phatudi and African Star Employee and Ruler of my Life, Raquel Abrahams (Who I wouldn’t be able to survive a single working day without). Not forgetting my incredible team at ASC, Lebo, Justine and Jamila.
Friends are so important to me. My friends are my guide in life. They give me knowledge, love and spirit. They tell me when I’m wrong. When I should apologise. When I’m hurting someone or when I’m out of line. My friends are people who have no fear in correcting me with my English or behaviour. That’s what I love about them! In all honesty, if it wasn’t for these people who love me so fiercely, I doubt I’d have my business, African Star Communications. I’d have failed long ago.
You cannot pursue your dreams alone. You need a support system. You need people who will guide you, correct you, love you and put you in your place, in life. You need people who will stick by you when no one else will.
Now, do your friends do the same? Do they help you. Do they lift you to greater heights? Are you that friend to them?
Or are the people you call friends, the people you just party with? The people you tweet? The people you get drunk with? Are they the people that look good on your Instagram, because they’re hot/famous? Are they the kind of people who will feed you when you can’t feed yourself?
If you don’t have great people in life to learn from, you’ll never be great yourself. If you don’t have a team of supporters, who cheers for you in good AND bad times? Who picks you up when you’ve fallen repeatedly? Get yourself a LIFE TEAM. My life team are my everything. I drop everything when they call. They make me great and I’m grateful they allow me on their teams too.
Friends are family we choose, these words are so true, it’s scary.