Love Yourself

Farah

The following article consists of my thoughts, emotions and life experiences. Thank you for allowing me to share my mind space with you.

When you hear people talking about loving themselves, what do you think? (Take a moment to answer my question in your head before you read further)

For me the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn was how to love myself. You’d honestly think it was a pretty easy thing to do. I mean it’s you! Your being, your skin, your features, your feelings? How could you not love yourself??? Being a woman, I live in a society which continuously tries to drill a certain perspective of life into me e.g. what I should feel, wear or who I should date.

My twenties were all about that. Trying to be the prettiest, the skinniest, the ‘everything’. I wasted time. I really did. I was more concerned with what people thought of me than what I thought of myself. I spent years trying to please people I had no business pleasing, helping people who didn’t appreciate my help, befriending people who were never my friend. As I got older I realized something. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t appreciate who I was. I didn’t want to admit that I was worth more than I gave myself credit for. So I gave that credit to everyone else.

I grew up in a family of 6 kids. 3 brothers, 2 sisters. My 2 older sisters were and still are beautiful. Now imagine being the little sister of 2 extremely popular and beautiful sisters. You know girls, cheerleaders, top of the class, all the boys want them, that’s my sisters. I grew up in their shadow. Not only did I have 2 beautiful sisters, I had gorgeous cousins. One of my cousins, was a serial beauty pageant winner. There I was, a book worm and nerd. Wasn’t popular at school, I had no desire to be, I couldn’t lift my head up from a book long enough. You know when you hear family says ‘she’s so lucky she’s smart’. I thought ok, my goal in life is to be smart. Not beautiful, sexy, adventourous, outspoken, no, just smart.

I was a late bloomer. At 17/18 I realized boys liked me. I’d get told ‘you’re so beautiful’….. but I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t understand how anyone could think that. I didn’t think I deserved that. I didn’t realize I was becoming a woman. A woman with choices, a future and so much more. I had family love. My family love me and I adore them, but I expected that. I came from a family of love so I thought all families were like that anyway. I went through years of never truly understanding I had some amazing qualities.

I’ve always strived to be the best at what I’m doing. I never want to be better than anyone else, I just want to do MY best. Today I can say I’m so damn proud of myself. I’m living my dream. It’s amazing I’m blessed and so very grateful. It took me till I was 33 to do this though. I never realized you have to or can be proud of yourself. Never being able to see who I truly was, allowed me to waste my twenties. At 33, for the first time in my life I actually stood in front of a mirror and said to myself you’re beautiful. That was a huge moment for me. The start of an emotional journey that has allowed me to live a life of true positivity and real happiness…

I see a lot in the entertainment industry. Things I never thought I’d be exposed to. EVER! I see girls in their 20’s who don’t love themselves and are still trying to please the World. If I can say anything it’s this. You truly are beautiful, intelligent, worthy and so much more. I waited till I was past my 30’s to truly get rid of anything in my life that stopped me being happy. Whether it was men, friends, just everything that was bad for me. Just let go… truly let go… Nothing in the past is going to change, but the future you can mould. Any which way you choose.

Love yourself enough to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Tell yourself you’re sorry and move on. Holding yourself hostage to your emotions will slowly eat at your soul… let go and truly love everything God intended you to be.