The following article consists of my thoughts, emotions and life experiences. Thank you for allowing me to share my mind space with you.
When you hear people talking about loving themselves, what do you think? (Take a moment to answer my question in your head before you read further)
For me the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn was how to love myself. You’d honestly think it was a pretty easy thing to do. I mean it’s you! Your being, your skin, your features, your feelings? How could you not love yourself??? Being a woman, I live in a society which continuously tries to drill a certain perspective of life into me e.g. what I should feel, wear or who I should date.
My twenties were all about that. Trying to be the prettiest, the skinniest, the ‘everything’. I wasted time. I really did. I was more concerned with what people thought of me than what I thought of myself. I spent years trying to please people I had no business pleasing, helping people who didn’t appreciate my help, befriending people who were never my friend. As I got older I realized something. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t appreciate who I was. I didn’t want to admit that I was worth more than I gave myself credit for. So I gave that credit to everyone else.
I grew up in a family of 6 kids. 3 brothers, 2 sisters. My 2 older sisters were and still are beautiful. Now imagine being the little sister of 2 extremely popular and beautiful sisters. You know girls, cheerleaders, top of the class, all the boys want them, that’s my sisters. I grew up in their shadow. Not only did I have 2 beautiful sisters, I had gorgeous cousins. One of my cousins, was a serial beauty pageant winner. There I was, a book worm and nerd. Wasn’t popular at school, I had no desire to be, I couldn’t lift my head up from a book long enough. You know when you hear family says ‘she’s so lucky she’s smart’. I thought ok, my goal in life is to be smart. Not beautiful, sexy, adventourous, outspoken, no, just smart.